Join now for free!

I am a:
next »
Love Magazine

Sex Isn't a Race: Why Slowing Down Wins Every Time

Many people seem to feel that sex is something that needs to be rushed. Maybe they feel that lovemaking has to be done as quickly as possible, or the moment will pass.

hot woman kising tenderly her partner
Enjoy your lovemaking so much more by slowing down!

But that's a complete myth. Slow sex is almost always better sex, and if you take your foot off the accelerator, you'll enjoy your lovemaking so much more. Here are some of the many reasons to ease off in bed and take it slowly.

You can Really Create a Bond with your Partner

This is probably the most important reason of all to slow down in the sack. When we rush sex, we lose all of its magical ability to bring us closer together as lovers.

We lose that sense of becoming one person, of our breathing synchronizing and our pleasure centers functioning as a whole. But when you slow things down, all of this becomes possible.

Slow it Down and Ditch your Selfishness in Bed

Fast sex is also all too often selfish sex, and it's usually guys who are the guilty party. When they feel the need to climax, they just can't resist it. So they plough ahead and satisfy themselves as quickly as possible, or so they think.

But by being selfish, they are short-changing themselves and their partner.

Focus your Physical Movements by Taking it Slowly

Here's another thing about slow sex that people often miss: Sex is a physical act. It's a combination of motions and gestures which stimulate us, not a rush to orgasm. Think about the Kama Sutra, and the hundreds of positions and techniques it included.

It takes time to learn them and enjoy them at their most intense, and the same applies to any sexual act. So slow down and think about what you are doing. You'll definitely see results.

Blend Slow Sex into Evenings of Passion

Slow sex can also be part of your broader romantic life. When you love someone, every moment with them is special, and every evening should try to last forever. After dining out or watching a movie, why create an anti-climax by racing to orgasm in a few minutes?

Treat sex as an extended conclusion - a beautiful way to end an evening with the one you love.

Sex is like Music: Build to a Crescendo

Here's another thing to keep in mind: Humans have a feel for rhythm. In dance and in music, we search for patterns and tempos, and it's no different in the bedroom.

So tap into your natural instincts and find a lovemaking pace that proceeds from gentle harmonies to a passionate crescendo, just like a piece of music.

hot couple taking things slowly
This act helps to build sensitivity for your lover's desires.

Slow Sex Allows your Senses to Become Even more Powerful

Slowing it down in bed also makes your sensual powers more sensitive, and here's why: In relationships, our bodies get used to each other. We find out how to stimulate and be stimulated by our lovers by being with them, kissing them, touching them and penetrating them.

Not just by fucking them. Exploring each other slowly helps to build your sensitivity for your lover's desires, turning you into a much more effective sexual performer.

Explore Every Sensual Avenue Available to You

Here's another thing that impatient lovers fail to remember: we have so many ways to satisfy each other, and combining them makes sex much, much better.

Slow it down and include foreplay, oral sex, toys, different positions, kissing, bathing, costumes - whatever you feel like adding to the mix. When you take it slowly, lovemaking can become much more complex, and much more enjoyable.

Slow Sex can lead to Multiple, More Intense Orgasms

Even though there are plenty of reasons to slow it down, you still could be wondering: If I'm desperate to climax, why wait? It takes superhuman patience some times, but it's worth it.

One of the best reasons is that longer bouts of lovemaking can result in multiple orgasms - particularly for women. If you can master the art of bringing your partner to climax two or three times per session well, you're in for some pretty amazing rewards.

Recharge in Between Lovemaking Sessions by Slowing it Down

There's another reason for guys who are hungry for orgasm to tone it down. When you rush sex, it can leave you spent and exhausted. All too often, your impatience means that you're done for the night, and your partner is left desperate for more.

Whether you're fucking a fetish partner or an Indian beauty, slowing down sex will help you restore your mojo and keep going till dawn.

Slower Sex Lets you Learn About your Partner

Another great reason to slow down in bed is that it lets you find out about your partner. When to make love slowly, the two of you can find out what makes each other go wild with desire. You can share thoughts and experiment.

You can learn the unique sexual profile of your lover in a way that brief lovemaking never lets you do, and armed with that knowledge your sexual relationship could soar.

handsome man being cuddled  by his pretty lady
Slow sex has the magical ability to bring us closer together as lovers

Pro tips for Slow Sex Experts

  • Create a mood that lasts with music, foreplay and scents. When you're starting a slow-paced sex session, creating a laid-back, chilled setting is vital. With the right music, some scented candles and muted light, soft cushions and a few glasses of wine, you can settle in for hours and hours of sex, without feeling the need to rush.
  • Set aside plenty of time to make each other happy. If you decide to take slow sex seriously, make sure you fit it into your schedule. Don't leave an hour or two. Dedicate a whole evening to being together. When you get into it, you'll be glad you did so.

Related reads

Image sources: (1) Sean Nel | (2) Photographee.eu | (3) Aarrttuurr | Fotolia.com