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Q: My Girlfriend Wants to Pee on Me But I’m Not Keen

My name is Carlos, and I’m a relatively shy 40-year-old guy who has had the same girlfriend for 15 years. We have two children who are now both grown up, which means we have more time together than ever before.

Handsome man having a golden shower

Last week, my wife suggested we try some fetishes to spice up our sex life, and her first suggestion involved her peeing on me.

Although I’m not a prude, I can be a little squeamish about fetishes. Until now, we’ve had a reasonably happy sex life, but I know that my wife often gets frustrated at the lack of variety in the bedroom. While I’m happy to try new things, being peed on makes me very nervous.

I wanted to know how this will work. Exactly where will she pee? Is it unhygienic? The thought of this doesn’t turn me on in the slightest, but I’m worried that she’ll go elsewhere if I don’t let her do it. Any advice you can give me would be greatly appreciated.

A: When it comes to golden showers, communication and understanding are essential

Thanks for writing in, Carlos. And don’t worry, as thousands of people enjoy this fetish every day — so your girlfriend is not alone. There is something taboo about so-called watersports or golden showers. Whether it’s to do with control, punishment or pushing boundaries, this particular fetish is one of the most divisive.

Take shame out of the equation

The first thing to say is don’t shame your girlfriend into suppressing her sexual desires. Fetishes take many forms, and there are many psychological reasons why they develop. The fact that she’s plucked up the courage to ask you to do this means she’s serious — and that she feels comfortable enough to share her innermost desires.

Similarly, your partner should be pressuring you into doing something you don’t want to do. Emotional blackmail and shaming might deliver short-term results, but they can both do irrevocable damage to your relationship in the long term.

Discuss the issue honestly

There’s no point keeping your thoughts and reservations to yourself. As this is something your partner really wants to do, the best course of action is to discuss it like adults — even if you’re not keen. Suppressing these desires can result in infidelity and heartbreak, so get things out in the open.

If you’re inclined to go ahead, you’ll need to discuss and agree the logistics. The most practical place is pee on someone is the bathroom, but you can adapt any room with some protective sheeting and cleaning tools. The important thing is that you agree on a scenario that you’re both comfortable with.

If you’re not keen, you might want to suggest that she pees right next to you. Or if you’re both secure in your relationship, discuss the possibility of bringing in a third party. You will find lots of local people willing to engage in watersports on an adult dating website.

Peeing on someone is safe

The appeal of peeing on someone is often related to the “dirtiness” factor. However, urine is pretty clean, and ingesting it is usually safe — unless your partner has a sexually transmitted disease. But even then, the chances of transmission are incredibly low.

It’s generally safe to pee anywhere, except on areas containing broken skin. If you’re going to drink your girlfriend’s pee, keep lots of fresh water close by. Urine contains very high levels of certain vitamins and minerals, which can disrupt your own digestion system.

Take baby steps

If you’re nervous about being peed on for the first time, suggest easing into the fetish by having your hand or foot peed on first. If that’s too much, you could start by simply watching her pee in the bathtub. Gradually breaking down your inhibitions might result in your actually starting to enjoy things.

As you both get used to seeing one another peeing, you might become more receptive to pushing the boundaries. Who knows? There may come a time when you’re completely comfortable with your girlfriend peeing in your mouth.

Be practical

The best advice for anyone trying out this fetish for the first time is to approach it in the most practical way possible. If you have a walk-in shower, this is the perfect place to get things moving. Alternatively, taking a bath together lends itself to this rather messy fetish.

If you simply can’t face the prospect of being peed on, you need to be honest with your fetish partner. After all, the experience will only be erotic if you’re both getting something from it. If you go ahead with things against your better judgment, you might end up resenting your girlfriend.

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