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Love Magazine

Understanding Polyamory

Polyamory, as described by its participants, is the opposite of monogamy. In such a relationship, people seek out multiple partners for emotional and sexual fulfillment. It takes many forms and cannot be defined using a single simplified example. For instance, a group of people may engage in polyamory for emotional fulfillment without physical contact. With divorce rates going so high these days, it is seen as an alternative to mainstream relationships. Everything in a polyamorous relationship is done by first seeking consent from others. For instance, if you engage in a sexual relationship, other members of the group, your partner have to be aware and give approval. It is a great way for people who have an enormous sexual libido to engage in sex without feeling as if they are cheating on their partner.

man sitting with two girls
Have multiple partner to fullfill all your desires

You Are Not a Slut

Labels are a common issue that keeps people from enjoying the full potential of their emotional state. Women especially are afraid of being labeled sluts for having multiple sexual partners. However, it is not true. Firstly, you are not fucking everyone. You are in a committed relationship with clear boundaries that should be respected. All your partners are committed to you and share a genuine emotional connection with you.

Sex is Not the Main Goal

When the polyamorous relationships are discussed in popular media, they are portrayed being for people who need excessive sexual satisfaction. It does not apply all the time. At times, people could be in a spiritual or emotional poly relationship. It means that there is no sex involved between any of them. People who have a sexual craving usually tend to join other types of groups such as swingers.

Sex is An Issue

In a polyamorous relationship, sex can be an issue at times. For one, in a polyamorous group, each one has a main sexual partner. However, people are free to engage in sex with other partners. The most important aspect of it is that everyone talks about it. Consent has to be given for anything involving the relationship. If you plan to join a polyamorous with your partner, you have to discuss everything. It is important for each person to adhere and understand the rules that guide the group. For instance, it is important to discuss what will happen if sex leads to you falling for another person in the group. Testing is also important in such a relationship. You have to be protected from sexual infections when engaging in sex with multiple partners.

Leave Room for Renegotiations

The first time you engage in a polyamorous relationship, it will be far from what you expect. Firstly, the new partners may not be what you expected. Since the entire point of the relationship was to provide a better experience for you, you should always speak up. Talk to members of the group and inform them that you wish to see a few changes. It will help the relationship last longer in the end.

girl beeing jealous of her partner
Don't let jealousy ruin your polyamorous relationship

Cheating Is Still a Thing

Even in this relationship, people could still cheat on. Firstly, they could break the rules of sexual satisfaction to emotional engagement. In general, anything that is outside the agreed rules is considered cheating. For instance, having sex with a person outside the group is considered cheating. It could expose the entire group to sexual health risks. The rules on cheating do not become less important just because you are in such a relationship.

Do Not Count

If you start to count, it will quickly lead to the death of the polyamorous relationship. For instance, you may start to count the number of times two people in the relationship have gone out together. In addition, some partners begin to count how many times two people have had sex. Ultimately, it will lead to competition and jealousy in the relationship. Besides, it is not about everyone getting the same level of emotional support at all times. Sometimes, one partner will need more emotional support than the others in the group. You should pour your heart out in a hive mentality to ensure the group survives for longer.

Take Responsibility

Just because you are in a polyamorous relationship does not mean you are devoid of all responsibilities. Such a relationship is not an excuse for you to negate your duties in a relationship. You have to be there and do things that lead to the growth of the relationship. If you mess up, you should be ready to apologize. Just like in a monogamous relationship, you have to own up to your mistakes and seek forgiveness. If it is given, you must act in a more responsible manner in future.

Have Trust in Your Partners

If you become mistrustful, it will be more complex. You may find it hard to trust partners in such a relationship again. You have to be willing to let loose and believe that they mean well for you. As a result, you need to choose carefully. Before you get into such a relationship, you need to investigate your partners carefully. Observe keenly for any telltale signs that may lead to mistrust. Any issue not dealt with at the initial stage will only fester and grow into a wound later.

man kissing a woman's neck
Just enjoy the perks of a polyamorous relationship

You Do Not Own Your Partners

Just like any relationship, being a control freak causes it to decay and wither fast. Do not attempt to control what your partners do or say at any time. Be ready to flow with the happenings. You also have to maintain an open mind. Listen carefully to what your partners say and see if it is something, you are willing to try.

Study a lot

Unlike other relationships, there are not many marriage counselors offering help for a polyamorous relationship. Most of what you know will have to come from you. Some experts have devoted years of research on this topic. You would benefit a lot by studying their works. The intricate details they provide will help you to establish the rules and boundaries that will make the relationship work. In addition, you should attend forums that discuss the issue. At such forums, talk to other groups that have managed to make it work. With the internet, it becomes even easier. Join online support groups and share helpful experiences with others.

Polyamory Does Not Fix Everything

A common relationship problem leads to the premature death of many groups. Couples experiencing problems think they can resolve everything by trying polyamory. However, it is not the case. If you have issues, they will not magically disappear. In addition, you will spread the sickness to the rest of the group. You need to try to resolve your issues and make sure they are fixed before even considering polyamory. Polyamory only works if it is used to strengthen a relationship that was already flourishing. It cannot be used to save one that was on its deathbed.

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Image sourcesImage 1 Fotolia.com - RefleXtionsImage 2 Fotolia.com - Photographee.euImage 3 Fotolia.com - Piotr Marcinski