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Love Magazine

10 Most Common Online Dating Mistakes Men Make

Whether you're looking for a little adult fun or whether you want a more lasting commitment, online dating is a great solution. More red blooded males than ever are signing up but it can be a tricky arena for the uninitiated. Like any activity, there's a certain way of doing things but when it comes to dating, men can get it so wrong.

1. Take some time over your profile

It can be tempting to scribble down a few lines because you want to start looking for ladies who enjoy adult assignations. However, if you spell badly, include a photo with another woman or state that you're into 'slim, blondes aged 20 to 30 who are available for no strings attached sex' you'll look like an idiot. What's more, you've just ruled out about 95% of the women who use the site. Make sure your blurb is spelled correctly, women like intelligent men. Use an authentic flattering photo and keep your clothes on. Should you wish to remove them in a video chat with a consenting lady, that's up to you. But nudity is best avoided in your profile picture.

man creating an online dating profile
Show that you're interested by asking about her

2. Don't chat rubbish

Opening an online chat with 'What's your name?' or 'How are you today' isn't really on but you'd be surprised at the number of men who do. You'll come across as someone who couldn't be bothered to look at the girl's basic profile. Take a look at what she's into. Ask her how long she has been pole dancing or how often she goes to music festivals.

3. Avoid building yourself up without offering evidence

Women of all ages agree that a show off isn't attractive. When she asks about your interests, 'I've got a great sense of humor,' or 'I have an IQ of 192' is not acceptable as an answer. It would be far better to make a funny comment on a current topic or offer an opinion on something that interests her - though you should ensure that your opinion is favorable or you may not get further than your first conversation.

4. Keep it covered

While you may be one of the lucky few to be well endowed, displaying it on that initial video chat is bad form. Keep your clothes on until the lady steers the chat in the direction you're hoping for. Virtual sex should be consensual and, while many women are into it, almost all of them would prefer that you remain fully clothed while they get to know you.

5. Don't be vulgar

While it's fine to be suggestive, vulgarity is unlikely to go down well with most women - unless of course they specifically ask you to talk dirty. Innuendo is fine, so if you really want to comment on her large breasts say something like 'I love your curves' rather than 'wow, your boobs are massive!' Likewise, try not to refer to sexual acts using slang terms, and don't swear.

sexy girl texting on the phone
If she texts your lucky, if not stop messaging her

6. Know when she means 'no'

No guy likes rejection but you need to know when to stop messaging her. If she hasn't responded to your first, second or tenth message, she doesn't want to. Men are just as likely as women to read more into a first date than they should. If you think it went well, but she isn't replying to your texts, just stop. It really didn't. And the more time you spend chasing someone who is clearly not into you, the less time you're spending online with women who are.

7. Use your common sense on that first meeting

You've met someone online, chatted a few times, she responds to your messages and seems interested. Perhaps it's time to suggest a first date. Time is one of the most commonly made mistakes. No, we don't mean try not to be late - although you shouldn't be. Don't be ambitious with the length of the date or the activity you choose. Keep first dates short. Have a coffee, go bowling, or go for a walk instead of booking a table for two followed by a club. Be sure to choose an activity that she is into before you decide to try basketball or buy tickets for a thrash metal gig.

8. Forget the cinema!

Whether you're gay, hetero or bi, suggesting a movie for your first date is out of the question. Yet, you would be shocked at how many men do when they finally pluck up the courage to come out from behind the keypad. You're going on a date because, after weeks of online chat, you want to meet each other and perhaps take things to the next level. You can't do that in a theatre and sharing popcorn doesn't count as intimacy.

9. Make an effort

You won't even get as far as the cinema if you don't make any effort. Try to show that you're interested in her by asking questions about her hobbies, likes and dislikes. Don't go overboard, if you tell her that you are also a water-skiing enthusiast you could find yourself in deep water one day, literally. Try not to look a mess when you engage in video chats. Brush your hair, make sure that your clothes are clean and neat - nobody loves a tramp.

man and woman have their first date
On the first date all lies will be revealed - so be honest

10. Be realistic

Lots of men tend to have a slightly less firm grip on reality than they might when it comes to online dating. If you present yourself as something you're not, you will be found out. Don't use a photo that's 10 years old or video chat in a darkened room. If you lie about your age, height or weight, all will be revealed when you meet. Create a gallery of photos that are up to date but flattering and ensure that you're well groomed and nicely dressed for live chats or meetings. Lying about your income is also taboo. If you say you're a single, 32-year-old millionaire and you're a 45-year-old divorced salesman, you will be found out.

Women are less likely to lie on online dating sites than men, so keep it real. Honesty really is the best policy if you want to meet willing ladies who share your interests when you venture into the exciting world of online dating.


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Image sourcesImage 1 Fotolia.com - Syda ProductionsImage 2 Fotolia.com - ShevtsovyImage 3 Fotolia.com - Paultarasenko