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Q:My mom and my girlfriend are the same age – how do I introduce them?

I’m a male, straight, 26 years old. I’ve been dating a woman I met on my lunch hour about five months ago. She’s beautiful, exciting, she’s 47 years old...and so is my Mom. I’ve always been close to Mom and she keeps asking about who I’m dating. I feel like I’m lying now when I tell her ‘no one in particular, especially now that we’re well beyond the friends with benefits stage and neither of us is dating anyone else. I met my girlfriend in the office building where I work, and she’s a manager where she works. She’s dresses nice and she’s smart – she and Mom could be friends! I just don’t know how Mom will react. All my other girlfriends have been around my age. Please help me out on how to introduce these two.

A younger man and older woman talking

Play it straight with Mom and give her some time

First – congratulations! It sounds like you have two great women in your life. Now...how to get them together, even just for a first meeting. First, since you haven’t even mentioned her yet to your Mom, a bit of a talk before the in-person introduction would probably be a better idea than springing it on her all at once. Look at it this way: it will also take some of the pressure off both you and your GF at that first meeting. By telling your Mom about the situation first, you’ll also be able to let her digest the information a bit. You don’t want Mom to feel like you’ve ambushed her, and now she has to be nice because everyone is present.


Cut Mom some slack


sexy mature woman in lingerie

You say that you’ve always been close to your Mom. That means she has your best interests at heart. But, remember that she grew up in a time when no-strings attached sex and relationships between younger men and cougars were taboo – it was always around, sure, but it was secretive and social mores were very different. You don’t say how traditionally minded your Mom is, but it might help if you could help her see that the stigma just isn’t there anymore. Age really is just a number. Emphasize how much fun you have with your GF and what you like about her.

Put yourself in her shoes

If you’re still searching for how to approach Mom with that first talk or meeting, it might help to reverse the situation. How would you feel if she introduced you to a boyfriend who was your own age? What would you be concerned about, and what would help answer those concerns? Mom doesn’t want to know all the dirty details of your MILF-boytoy sex life. She doesn’t want to know about that crazy hook-up in the back seat of her Porsche, or that time she slipped her hand into your pants at the fancy restaurant. Mom wants to know whether you’re happy or not, and that your partner isn’t somehow using and abusing you. Think about how you can help her see your GF the way you do – without the X-rated details.

That first meeting

Depending on how that first talk goes, you’ll have an idea on how to approach the first face-to-face meeting. If Mom is still feeling apprehensive, then a quick tea or coffee, or even just dropping by as your girlfriend comes to pick you up for a few minutes might be the best way to start. Short and sweet, enough time for Mom and GF to eye each other and get a few words in. If, on the other hand, Mom is more accommodating than you thought she’d be, and doesn’t seem overly fazed by the age difference, then maybe a dinner with the three of you at a nice restaurant (neutral ground) might be in order. The point is, you don’t want to simply bulldoze your way over any objections or discussion.

Remember what’s important, and good luck!

You and your Mom are close, and that’s great in this confusing world. But, you still need a hot sex life, right? You can have both, and be out in the open about it, by playing it straight with Mom. Don’t lie to her or cover it up. But, you also want to give her a little time to let the idea sink in, or at least to consider it. Ease her into that first meeting and try and keep everyone’s feelings in mind, and it should go fine. You never know – they might just end up being friends.

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