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Love Magazine

How to Drive Each Other Wild During Mutual Masturbation Sessions

Some people seem to think that masturbation is a solitary activity, but that’s far from the case. When couples masturbate together, the sensation can be much, much more exciting and fulfilling. However, to really get the most out of mutual masturbation, you have to do it right.

Couple having a sexy foreplay on the bed
Don’t be afraid to hang back, delayed gratification can be powerful!

There has to be an understanding, a kind of harmony between both participants that synchs up their erotic schedules and brings them to climax at almost the same time. There’s no magic involved. Here’s how it’s done.

Pick the Right Moment and Don’t Feel Pressured

Here's the thing about masturbation: you can't turn on like a tap. There are right moments and wrong moments to try hand stimulation, and sometimes no matter how hard you try, our sexual organs just won’t respond properly.

If you and your partner are committed to making it work, don’t leap into mutually masturbating as if it will automatically happen. Wait until both of you are aroused and ready to go. Look into each other's eyes and be honest. If you’re both primed, your sexual rhythms will hook up instantly.

Know What Each Other Likes Before you Start

The more you know about what turns your partner on, the better your experience will be (which goes for more than just mutual masturbation). Everyone has special ways they like to be touched and to touch themselves.

Some women like more decisive moves. Others like to take it slowly. Some guys favour a slow process to build up their hardness. Others like to go full-power from the start. And everyone has their unique fantasies.

So talk about what you love to think about and what turns you on. It will help you to time your climaxes when your session begins.

Sexy couple touching each other
Mutual masturbation is to explore how to stimulate each other.

Let Your Words Supplement Your Hands

Sex between two lovers is as much about verbal stimuli as the touch of sexual organs. Here's the magical thing about words: the right phrases make everything else seem much more arousing. So as you masturbate together, don’t be afraid to talk.

Murmur sweet nothings if that’s why your partner adores, or be more direct and more vulgar.

Create a Setting that Makes Both People Comfortable

Mutual masturbation is a serious business. It’s not something that can be done well on the couch with popcorn all over the floor and a mediocre film in the background. No, you need to create the perfect scene.

It won’t be the same for every couple, but think about what soft furnishings, scents, candles and drapes you need to create an exotic, erotic space. You might want a soundtrack too – something mellow and non-intrusive.

The whole setup should help you to focus on each other, so creating a “cocoon” like atmosphere makes perfect sense.

Be Clear About What you are Looking For

The idea behind mutual masturbation is to explore how two lovers can stimulate each other through their looks, words and personalities. It’s not foreplay. The aim isn’t to move from masturbation to full-blown sexual intercourse.

Sure, that might happen, but it isn’t the major goal. You should be trying to climax through the way you touch each other, looking deep into each other’s eyes and achieving a profound sexual harmony.


RELATED: 10 Steps to Achieving the Male Multiple Orgasm


So try to be clear about that. This isn’t a night of raw sex. It’s something deeper than that.

Find the Right Amount of Tactile Stimulation

Mutual masturbation classically involves two people stimulating themselves and watching each other do so, but that’s just a convention, not a rule. There’s no law against touching each other as you masturbate.

You’ll probably have a hand free while you touch yourself, so why not use it to stroke his balls or caress the skin of her belly. Find an erogenous zone and zero in on it, enhancing your partner’s pleasure in the process.

And be creative! You may find a place to touch your partner that they have never explored, resulting in the greatest orgasm of their life.

Add Some Props to Heighten the Experience

Mutual masturbation doesn’t only have to involve our hands and fingers either. There’s a galaxy of different sex toys and tools we can use to make the experience more satisfying. For some people, a lubricated butt plug is the ideal way to make their vaginal orgasm more intense.

Woman getting ready to masturbate
Mutual masturbation doesn’t only have to involve our hands and fingers.

For others, clamps have the same effect, while some couples like to cuff themselves together throughout. You could also experiment with veiling or masking one participant, giving the other free rein to exploit their vulnerability.

The power imbalance can drive some people out of their mind.

Use a Dildo Strategically to Kick Off the Action

But what about other tools to help the experience go smoothly? If you want to really start proceedings with a bang, there’s one prop every girl should (and probably does) have – a dildo.

For many guys, the sight of a massive erect dildo is enough to create fantasies about their partner, sending their penis into overdrive. Meanwhile, for the female partner, a vibrating dildo is the perfect way to stimulate yourself and find a sexual rhythm that will hook up to that of your partner.

Be Creative with your Positions

Mutual masturbation revolves around visuals. The two partners get off on watching their lover as they send themselves into ecstasy, so vary your position as you masturbate to create variety and find a look that turns your partner on.

Doggy is a good place to start, while you can even move into face sitting for a while if that’s what he likes. It’s all about finding positions that work for both partners, so get creative. You won’t regret it.

Signal Your Climax and Time it Like a Pro

Finally, we come to the really important moment: climax. If you’ve really found a connection with your partner and hooked up to their own unique erotic rhythm, you should be approaching climax at around the same time.

When you know it’s on the way, make sure your partner knows. Their body will respond with an instinctive effort to reach climax as well, creating a tornado of passion and pleasure when your two bodies reach harmony.

If one partner signals to delay, slow down. You may find that delayed gratification actually makes the eventual orgasm all the more powerful, so don’t be afraid to hang back. It’s hard to resist, but you can do it.

couple having a mutual masturbation moment
You both will get off watching your lover heading into ecstasy.

Mutual Masturbation can be Great for your Relationship

If you follow these tips, you and your partner will soon be reaching climax together like never before. Masturbating together is something that all couples should try. It educates about what the two of you enjoy, it helps to build an understanding about how you reach orgasm and it’s totally safe sex as well.

Above all, when you look into each other’s eyes as you climax, the pleasure is far more intense than solitary masturbation ever could be – so never be afraid to give it a try.

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Image sources: (1) Margarita Borodina | (2) Piotr Marcinski | (3) VadimGuzhva | (4) Wisky | Fotolia.com