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Familiarity Breeds Comfort: The Perks of Vanilla Sex

If you think that "vanilla sex" is boring and the reason why couples break up, think again. There's something comforting about being able to know all the moves in and out that take take sexy to the level of intimate and romantic.

lovely couple having sweet vanilla sex
With vanilla sex your possibilities for foreplay are endless!

And just because it's not entirely kinky or risky, doesn't mean that you can't get creative or add some spice to the routine.

What is Conventional Sex?

The term vanilla sex denotes a behaviour. Over the years, it's gained a more negative connotation as "boring" and "conventional" but it actually means all the sexual behaviours and acts that are on the spectrum of what is considered normal or acceptable in a culture or a subculture.

This type of sexual behaviour usually does not include any elements of kink or BDSM. Depending on the sexual orientation of the couple, the term means something different. For same-sex couples, the term means sex that is non-insertive.

Meanwhile, for heterosexual couples, this kind of sex means the missionary position.

Tips For Making the Familiar Hot Again

Even if the sex is comforting and familiar, you can make it enjoyable and mix it up by paying attention to foreplay. Bring in the foreplay and start with a full body massage or an intimate warm bath.

Or, preface the act with a little striptease. Engage in a little sexting. The possibilities for foreplay are endless and they all revolve around heightening arousal and using anticipation to your advantage.

You can also change up the place you have sex. Sure, you might not be much for sex in a car or public, exhibitionist sex but there's no reason you can't keep it home and still keep it hot.

Try the kitchen counter or the stand-in shower for a "gotta-have-you-now" sense of sexual urgency.

Don't Believe Everything You See in the Movies

There are those who think that conventional sex means the missionary position and a 3-minute fuse time. But these are perceptions simply created by movies that conflate conventional sex to unhappy, married couples.

The main point here is change: if you can change up a sexual routine and make it unexpected, you'll be able to enjoy the best of both words. There is nothing "wrong" or "boring" about enjoying the familiarity of certain positions the two of you have mastered.

In fact, what makes this kind of sex so enjoyable is the intimacy and romance that precedes and follows the actual act.

And, many couples who start out with more conventional or "vanilla" positions can choose to get more enthusiastic and experimental during sex itself.

In that case, keep a pair of furry gag handcuffs ready, just in case.

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Image source: Coka -