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Tried and True: Why the '69' is for You

The 69 is one of those special positions that is incredibly easy to execute, creates intimacy between partners and is incredibly erotic. You can find ways to spice it up and you can use it to spice up your routine in the first place. It's not deeply penetrative but it is mutually pleasurable and with all the focused attention your partner bestows on, you won't need to go too deep.

Beautiful happy couple foreplaying in bed
The 69 position makes for excellent foreplay

What Is It?

The idea behind the "69" is that, from a top-view, a couple in the position would look like the number formation. The "69" position allows both partners to perform oral sex upon the other - cunnilingus and/or fellatio - simultaneously. Both partners can lie one their sides (which is the easiest) or one can lie on top of the other.

Women performing on men can use their regular blow-job techniques and throw in some naughty dirty talk to guide a male partner to pleasure her correctly. Encouragement rather than direction is the best thing here so use phrases like, "oh, yeah, right there" or, "that feels so good when you do that", when your partner hits the right spot.

The position makes for excellent foreplay and it can make sexual intercourse way more intimate and pleasurable. For one, you're both naturally lubed up. For another, if you're a man with a female partner, having her cum once can really turn her on and put her in the mood for more.

Feeling Fine with 69

If you're lying on your side, facing each other, this is a perfectly fine way to start. However, remember that the person on top is usually the one with the most control, physically speaking. If you're a woman and you are with a man, and you want to keep control of how much pressure he applies, get on top. his means he's on his back while you're on your hands and knees.

If you want to throw a little sub-dom dimension in there, have your man be on top and use your words or alter the speed of your sucking, as well as how deep he goes. This is a chance for both partners to pay lots of attention to other parts like the perineum, his shaft, the testicles, your clit and vagina. He can even use his fingers at the same time.

If you feel you're going to climax, pull his penis out of your mouth because we have a tendency to clench our jaws and tense our muscles when about to orgasm. That's less than pleasant for your partner and could really hurt him.

A word to the wise: mastering this position and getting real erotic pleasure from it, like anything, takes time. The soixante-neuf, as it's delicately called, is meant to be a move and an act that gets better with time. At first, you might find it awkward, at best, and incredibly vulnerable. But this is where the danger and desire come together with its inherent intimacy and tenderness.

Keeping Score

Many couples begin in this position to add some real spice to their sex lives. But what if you've already got that firecracker going? Well, there's a little something for you, too.

If you involve some edging, things can get high stakes fast. Try to go as long as you can without orgasming and have your partner convey a signal to you that tells you that they're close. Get to the edge of an orgasm, let it build up and then back off.

Or, do the exact opposite. Try the "Race to 69", where each partner tries to make the other reach the finish line, so to speak, before the other one can make them orgasm. It's really just a who beats who and who can make who cum first.

Of course, if all else has been tried, go for a little whipped cream or melted chocolate. It's a classic for a reason.

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