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Love Magazine

The Friend Zone: Your Guide to Getting Out and Staying Out

You're the nice guy. The guy that women trust, enjoy spending time with, and enjoy divulging their deepest secrets to. Unfortunately, you're also the guy that gets stuck in the friend zone with what seems like every female friendship.

attractive man trying to become more than friends
Are you doing it right to get out of the friend zone?

Is this narrative getting old? If you'd rather experience a relationship with an adult match that you know you can treat right, then your first goal is to GET OUT of the friend zone as fast as you can (or avoid it completely). While this might sound difficult once the "friend" bomb has been laid, it can be done with the help of the steps below.

Step 1. Examine Your Appearance

It would be nice to say that looks don't matter in this situation, but the truth is, they do...BIG time!

For this reason, you must consider if you're in the friend zone because you slack on your appearance when you're with your love interest. While you shouldn't make the mistake of changing everything about yourself, it's worthwhile to put in some effort.

This means a nice pair of jeans, nice shirt, gel in your hair, and shower. When you feel good and confident, that is going to shine through with the way you talk to other women, including your interest. When she sees you looking your best, the wheels in her head will start to turn.

PRO TIP: The Right Outfit

If you aren't fashionable, ask a woman clerk at a clothing store for help picking out a casual outfit that looks nice. Most women will be more than willing to assist you.

Step 2. Stop Being So Available

Does your love interested know that she can always get a hold of you, no matter what? Have you dropped other plans in the past just because she needed a shoulder to cry on? This availability needs to stop in order to gain her attention.

friends planning their trip with a map
A good tactic to bond might be a trip together.

Remember: Jealousy is something that heightens the interest of a woman, so it is very unlikely you will push her away. However, you shouldn't turn her down every chance you get. Strike a balance between being there for her and hanging out with other people.

Step 3. Invite Her to Try Something New

Trying something new with another person is an excellent way to bond and share intimate memories. What's even better is that this doesn't have to send a "romantic" vibe right away. Instead, it will show her that you are fun, willing to try new things, and can have a good time no matter what you're doing.

What can you do? Cooking classes are a great start, as are new arts/crafts, or even food exhibits. Think about what she likes to do for hobbies and incorporate that into what you invite her to do.


See how she reacts to the invitation and to the actual activity when you're out. If you're having a good time and she's smiling, then you're on your way to getting out of the friend zone.

Step 4. Get Flirty

This is one step that is generally the most difficult for men to figure out. It requires giving subtle hints without going overboard.

For example: When you're out at dinner, tell her that she looks nice or that you can see why other guys are staring at her. Leave it with one or two compliments to let her know that you're interested.

By doing things this way, you won't scare her off but will instead plant the seed that you could easily be more than just a friend.

Remember: Your body language speaks volumes! Point your body toward her while you're chatting, pat her leg when she tells a joke, and touch her shoulder when you're getting her attention.

You certainly don't want to be too "handsy", but it's important to have some physical contact that puts her senses on alert.

Step 5. Have "The Talk"

You've dreamed about it, rehearsed it, and even dreaded it: The Talk. However, it's a necessary part of exiting the friend zone and diving into the relationship zone. Before you jump into this, think about what you're going to say.

One great way to get started is to talk about how long you've been friends and why you enjoy your relationship with her. See how she responds and if she offers any insight into her view of your relationship. If things go well and she doesn't overwhelm you with the "friend" word, then move on with your feelings.

Is it going to be difficult?

Yes!, It will be worth it, though, because it will allow your stress to roll off your shoulders and manifest into meaningful words. You may worry that you're going to hurt your friendship, but keep in mind that you're not asking her for a fuck buddy or even casual sex.

You're asking for a legitimate relationship with someone you are compatible with. Her reaction will tell you how to move from there and whether or not you should try to be more than friends.

Your Future With Your Love Interest

Getting out of the friend zone isn't something that will happen immediately or even after a few days. It's a lot of work, but is it worth it? Absolutely! Why live your life wondering if you're missing out?

handsome man getting out of the friend zone
Don't keep on wondering and get out of the friend zone!

Even if she tells you that you two are better off as friends, you won't have the constant wonder in your mind. Ultimately, this can help you move on or give you a starting point for what could be an incredible relationship. Why not see what happens next?

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Image sources: (1) | (2) Maksim Šmeljov | (3) Syda Productions |