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Casual Sex: The Unwritten Rules You Need to Follow

Whether you’re new to the world of casual sex or someone just getting started, it’s important to know the rules and boundaries that apply before, during and after no-strings encounters. Finding a compatible partner for casual sex is not easy, so once you have found the perfect person for the role, it’s important you don’t do anything to ruin your arrangement.

Couple on bed making the rules clear
Casual encounters should be exciting and rewarding!

To ensure you don’t make mistakes that cost you your casual encounters, take a few minutes to read the unwritten rules of casual sex — your sex life might just depend on it!

1. Keep Emotion Out of It

The moment that emotion starts to play a part in your casual relationship, you’re headed towards ‘serious’ territory. The whole point of this type of mutual arrangement is to get the physical benefits of sex without all of the baggage and complications that often go with it.

So, whether you think you’re falling in love or you have genuine feelings for your partner, keep your thoughts and emotions to yourself. Of course, you will still need to be friendly and receptive to humour, but keep things as generic and neutral as possible. If emotions start to creep into your arrangement, you both need to talk.

If you both feel the same way, this could be the start of something beautiful. If only one of you has these feelings, it’s definitely time to move on.

2. Always Be Respectful

There is a fine line to walk between being a sexual animal and being courteous and respectful. This kind of open arrangement calls for an element of animalistic sex at times, but your actions should never stray into disrespectful or discourteous territory. You will need to assess the dynamic within your casual relationship, and change your approach according to each scenario.

3. Agree on a Way Forward from the Outset

Before you get down to business in the bedroom for the first time, you both need to discuss what you want out of the relationship. How will you contact one another? How often do you want to meet for casual sex? Do you meet for drinks first, or do you head straight to bed?

Are you both seeing other people, and are you both OK with this. What is the agreed plan of action if one of you starts to develop feelings for the other?

While you probably both want to rip each other’s clothes off from the moment you meet, the sensible thing to do is discuss these important issues first.

4. Accept the Situation is Temporary from the Start

By definition, a casual sex relationship doesn’t have a long-term future. OK, so you might both develop feelings for one another down the line, but in most cases, these relationships end rather abruptly. To protect yourself from pain and anxiety, make your peace with the fact that your casual relationship is on borrowed time — from the very first meeting.

This type of no-strings relationship is predicated on the need for great sex… and very little else. Once the sex starts to become monotonous and dull — which is probably will — there will probably be very little left between you both. Take a pragmatic approach from the outset, and you’ll be able to move on quickly once the arrangement meets its natural end.

5. Keep Things Fresh

Most people enter into a casual sex relationship because of the excitement and unpredictability it delivers. It is therefore a good idea to do everything possible to keep the sex unpredictable and electrifying. Experiment with different locations, role playing scenarios and dress codes.

But most importantly, fight the temptation to meet up as regularly as possible. If you both starve yourselves of one another, you’ll both be ready to tear strips off one another when you eventually meet. As they say: “A little bit of what you fancy does you good”.

6. Be Your Best Self

While it’s probably a bad idea to pretend you’re someone or something you’re not, you can make your encounters exciting and rewarding by exacerbating and accentuating the best aspects of your personality. Be adventurous, confident, sexy and all the things that can add a different dimension to sex. Keep the negative stuff for your real life.

Casual sex is a great way to get the sex your body needs without the baggage or emotional commitment. But once you’ve found the ideal partner, it’s important to follow the unwritten rules that apply — otherwise you could find yourself searching for someone else very quickly.

More Tips for a Good Casual Sex Relationship

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