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Love Magazine

10 Tips to Relationships: How to Draw Any Guy You Like In

So you've zeroed in on the man of your dreams. He's in your life. You've got him in your cross-hairs!

Congratulations!

This girl got her guy
Transform him into "your guy" with these subtle manoeuvres!

But...there's only one problem: he has no idea that you wanna be Mrs-The-One.

Getting a guy to like you is both a fine science and a perfected art. Luckily, we've boiled down the Sacred Texts into 10 easy points. Do even 5 out of these 10 and you're already way ahead.

Do all 10...and get ready to turn him into putty in your hands.

You're welcome.

1. Get Physical

Are you going to become a Victoria's Secret Angel overnight? No. And nor should you.

Those glorious chiseled bodies are those women's and don't make you any more or (less!) beautiful than who those women are. To each their own. You're not trying to compete with them or arrive at their body types.

Because, the truth is, you're never going to look like them unless you're genetically inclined to already look like them. But this doesn't mean you get a free pass from the gym. No. Do not pass "Go". Do not collect 200 dollars.

The first thing you want to do is get to know your body. Make it the best you can be. Get into that state of mind and mode where you want to embrace intimate situations. And the best way to do that is cultivate a gym practice or incorporate daily physical activity into your routine.

Not only does this help you get incredibly fit and make you more prone to show off the best parts of you to your crush, it also allows you to engage in activities that are more physical like he may like.

So, the next time he laughs when you say you'll race him to the top of that rock wall? Show him who's boss!

Nobody puts Baby in the corner!

2. Keeping Up Appearances

Look, this is not about being fake, slopping on make-up or "playing to stereotypes". There is absolutely nothing anti-feminist about maintaining an appealing physical appearance.

There are two things at play here: choice and doing what feels authentic to you.

As long as you choose and actively express the choice to do whatever it is that feels right and comfortable for you -- as long as you choose, in short, to define what "looking great" means to you, that's all that matters.

But, know this: men are physical and visual creatures. If you can play up your best features, you're implicitly telling him you know yourself well and know how to keep it classy.

You love yourself and want to take care of yourself, displaying the best you can be. This doesn't mean you need to be walking around in 6 inch heels all the live-long day. Unless, again, that's just who you are.

But privileging pampering yourself through playing with make-up or getting a massage or doing your hair or undertaking whatever activity feels right for you operates on two levels here: one, it allows you to sink deeper into your own definition of beauty and self love. And, two, that comfort and radiance shines outwards.

Every Time!

funny girl and guy getting some selfies
Keep in mind that comfort and radiance shines outwards, and they are your friends.

3. You Own the Room

9 times out of 10, assertiveness has almost nothing to do with physical appearance or attractiveness. Someone can have an imposing and powerful charm about them, simply through confidence.

Note that confidence does not mean arrogance. You don't have to walk into a room and hold your head up high and think you're better than everyone else. That's not attractive and, 9 times out of ten on this one, means that you just have narcissistic personality disorder.

Confidence means comfort and it's conveyed with a myriad of verbal and non-verbal cues. It's the way you talk about yourself (with love, not disparagingly) or accept compliments with a "thank you", rather than trying to awkwardly deflect.

It's your ability to be open and pleasant, a social creature, but maintain boundaries. In some people, it's the ability to see right through others and call them out powerfully on it. For some, it's the ability to be deeply empathetic. For others still, it's the ability to strike up a conversation with anyone.

See a common theme here yet?

Yes! Confidence is about playing to your strengths. However it is that confidence shows up for you, whatever it is that you're best it, own it and use it to "work the room", so to speak.

That's how you "own" the room.

4. It's Like You're My Mirror

The birds do it and the bees do it (well, okay, maybe not bees, per se). It's a well-documented biological mating ritual. No, not... that!.... Not yet, anyway.

We're talking about the power of mirroring. Yes, if you mirror the actions and motions of the object-of-your-desires, its marked behavior that you might miss but that hardwired parts of his primitive brain are capturing.

On the one hand, it's a very social tool. You've heard the saying, birds of a feather flock together, right? This is you telling him that you're part of his "flock".

But if you're hoping to be his leading lady, you can do more than simply mirror his speech patterns or behaviors. You can take on some mannerisms, tap into the kind of humor he likes and even pick up on some of the clothing styles he takes on (in a feminine way, if that's your comfort zone).

And this all comes with a caveat: don't go overboard and do only what feels authentic to you. If it feels uncomfortable, he'll be able to tell, every time. But if there are aspects about him that you truly do admire, mirror it consciously and know that this is simply you letting him "guide" you to embracing new ways of being.

5. Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Don't underestimate the subtle power of the touch.

sexy confident lady in the beach with the guy she likes
Maintaining eye contact works like a charm every time.

Words are great, especially when they're well-timed and well-chosen. Eye contact is powerful and, if you know what you're doing, can be a mixture of promise and intent.

But a light touch on his forearm when you're laughing or talking to him, while maintaining eye contact works like a charm -- every. single. time.

Obviously, you don't want to overdo it -- less is more here. And don't be slapping his back like a bro. Keep your touch as light as possible and let it linger for only a few seconds.

6. Make Him Feel Gooooood

This doesn't translate to insincere, gratuitous or disingenuous flattery. If there's something you don't like, say it.

But if there's something about the way he looks or how he is or what he does that you very much enjoy, be open and say it. Express it to him. He may not know it but he's looking for your approval.

So take the time to make a mark of what he likes.

On a very basic level, it makes him feel good. And he'll automatically start associating those "feel good" feelings with you.

7. For His Eyes Only

Want to get more direct in an indirect way?

Start to hold his gaze more often and hold it for a progressively longer and longer period of time.

You don't need to make your gaze too intense or scary. Don't burn your retinas into his face. No one needs that and, frankly, it's a little creepy.

Whether they admit it or not, guys love when women are a little coy so look down and then look up when meeting his eyes. Make your look mischievous but sweet and playful. He might not know it on a conscious level...but he'll definitely start responding.

He'll say to himself, "there's something different about her..." and won't be able to place it. You, on the other hand, know exactly what's going on. So put a little plan and intention in place with those baby blues, deep browns and sparkling greens, okay?

8. Friends First?

Yes, you can work on getting into his friends circle as a way you to get closer to him and get him thinking about what having you as a girlfriend would be like.

But this one is more about being friends first. Now, hear us out, okay?

You might be wondering: But won't I get friend-zoned?! That's a real thing, right?

First off all, the friend zone works differently for men than for women. Women put in the friend-zone are not in purgatory the way that men sometimes are when they're "zoned" by women. It doesn't take much to remind men that we're sexy creatures that can challenge their perception of "just friends".

Secondly, while men and women are equally as sexual as each other, they express it in different ways. Men are much more prone to looking at the opposite sex from a sexual standpoint, right off the bat, than women are.

But this doesn't mean they necessarily want to do anything more than sleep with you.

Pro-tip: Always, Always, Always

When time is on your side, run the marathon, don't sprint. Play the long-game. You know you want him and he may or may not. Use this to your advantage and become friends first.

Sure, yes, you'll build up a truly beautiful basis for a relationship this way. Absolutely! You can share secrets and interests that bring you closer.

But even more scintillating, you'll really get to know each other. Think of it like extended foreplay or a really slow burning chase.

Delicious, isn't it?

9. Insider Trading

If you want to subconsciously transform him into "your guy", start with the subtle manoeuvres. Cultivate inside jokes between the two of you that no one else gets.

It mimics how you'd be if you were in a relationship together and heightens intimacy. Contrary to popular belief, men are as equally emotional as women -- they just feel and express it to different capacities and in different ways.

Acknowledge that difference but don't give up the chase. Use a movie that only the two of you have seen or a funny joke only the two of you came up with when you're in the presence of other people.

He won't tell you but he'll love it.

pretty lady waiting for the guy to make the move
Make your look mischievous but sweet and playful.

10. Provoke Him to Action, Not Jealousy

If he's slow to make a move (despite all these signals you've been putting out there, hello!), forgive him -- the male sex is sometimes painfully oblivious. And that's kind of endearing, isn't it? (damn!)

Nothing drives a guy into action like the thought that they're going to lose something that they have. They'll do anything to keep it - if they want it enough.

Assuming you've been playing these 9 points above well, and going for the marathon, instead of the sprint, the irons are probably hot by now. But if he's still not making a move, he may either be too shy or fear rejection (I know...how much more obvious can you be, besides just walking in front of him naked?! Okay, but don't do that...at least, not yet)

Subtly drop that you're going to be going on a date or that you've been having coffee with a couple of other guys and it's been going well.

If he's the least bit interested, he'll respond. Now, mind you, different guys respond to this in different ways. Some may get all clammed up and up-tight. Others will change the subject. Still others will get territorial and appear not to have a problem with it in the moment, then bring it up again out of the blue, two days later.

This is an excellent sign! Don't be fooled into thinking men are creatures of the cool: they're just as prone to "irrationality" as women.

Subtly let it be known that you're open to new connections. You want to move him to action, but no jealousy. So don't flirt in front of him or drop details. That's neither classy nor nice.

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